In this week’s Torah portion  (Gen. 25:8-10), we read:

And Abraham breathed his last, dying at a good ripe age, old and contented; and he was gathered to his kin. His sons Isaac and Ishmael buried him in the cave of Machpelah, in the field of Ephron son of Zohar the Hittite, facing Mamre, the field that Abraham had bought from the Hittites; there Abraham was buried, and Sarah his wife.

Isn’t that how we all want our lives to end?  At an advanced age, filled with contentedness, buried next to our beloved, with our children overcoming the family strife to stand together honoring us? Yet we know that that doesn’t happen by happenstance. Or magic.  It takes effort.  It takes a lifetime of effort.

In the two week course, “What Happens When I Die… in Heaven?  And on Earth?”  we have been looking into Jewish beliefs and theology as well as practices which are a combination of commandment, tradition, superstition, and family tradition.  And two sessions were not enough so we will be adding a third.  Sharon Brody, Director of Ralph Schugar Chapel, Inc.,  and I, together with a cameo appearance by a congregant who is one of a number of members of the New Community Chevra Kadisha (burial society) brought information, fielded questions, and listened to powerful stories.

This is what we know: we don’t need to go through the tension and exhaustion of Abraham when he needed to quickly find an appropriate burial site for his beloved Sarah.  When he died, the burial spot had already been secured so his sons Isaac and Ishmael could use their energy to mourn and laugh and bond together as, different as they were, they took their shared places as the patriarchs of this family. Let us give that gift to our family members.